Losing a beloved pet is one of the most emotionally painful experiences a person can go through. Our pets become part of the family, companions through the ups and downs of life, and a source of unconditional love. Losing them, therefore, can cause overwhelming grief. 

If you’re trying to figure out how to deal with the loss of a pet, know that you are not alone, and it’s okay to grieve deeply and in your own way. 

In this guide, we’ll explore what makes pet loss so impactful, how to cope, and gentle ways to heal.

Understanding Pet Loss

The Human-Animal Bond

The connection between humans and animals transcends the bounds of typical companionship. Pets are with us throughout the day and night, offering silent emotional support, their presence becoming a constant source of comfort. They rely on us and, in return, give us love without judgement. This deep bond makes their loss uniquely painful. 

Social Stigma Around Pet Loss

Additionally, the grief of pet loss can often feel more isolating because it may not always be recognised by wider society. Friends or co-workers might mean well but fail to understand the depth of the loss. 

Without the validation of our peers, it can be harder to grieve openly or without guilt. But for those dog-owners who live alone or relied heavily on their pet for emotional companionship, the impact can be profound and long-lasting. 

The Grieving Process: What To Expect

Common Emotional Stages

Grieving after the death of a pet often follows a pattern similar to the process of grieving the death of a beloved family member or friend. Everyone will experience it differently, but here are some common emotions:

  • Denial: Struggling to accept the reality that your pet is really gone.
  • Sadness: Feeling a deep emptiness or sorrow.
  • Guilt: Wondering if you did enough or made the right decisions.
  • Anger: Frustration at the situation, others, or yourself.
  • Acceptance: Beginning to heal and find peace with the loss you have experienced.

The stages are by no means a linear progression; everyone will experience them uniquely. Where possible, talk to friends, family, or healthcare professionals, as support from people you trust can be invaluable as you go through the process.

Physical Effects of Grief

Grief may come in waves. Some days will be easier than others. You might find comfort in a memory one moment and cry the next. These ups and downs are normal. It’s also important to remember that grief can affect your physical health. Fatigue, changes in appetite, and trouble concentrating are all common. 

Replaying Final Moments

It’s also normal to replay final moments in your head, especially if your pet was euthanised or passed away suddenly. Many people struggle with questions like ‘Did I make the right decision?’ or ‘Could I have done more?’ 

Though questions like this can weigh heavy, they usually give way to more peaceful memories and acceptance. 

How to Deal with the Loss of a Pet: Practical Methods

Coping with grief takes time, but there are healthy steps you can take to begin the healing process: 

  • Accept Your Grief: Give yourself permission to grieve for your pet. Let the emotions come, don’t block them out. If you need to, cry. 
  • Talk About It: Share memories with friends or family who understand the depth of your loss.
  • Write It Down: Journaling about your pet’s life or how you’re feeling can be therapeutic. 
  • Create A Tribute: Framing a favourite photo, making a memory box, or lighting a candle in their honour can be comforting. 
  • Stick To Routines: Maintaining structure can help bring a sense of stability during emotional chaos. 

Make the most of the surrounding help and be kind to yourself as you navigate the grief. Repressing your emotions and refusing help when you might need it will only make the process tougher.

Furthermore, some people find comfort in art, such as drawing or painting their pet, while others may write poems, letters, or even stories. Doing something creative in honour of your pet can provide an emotional release and help you process your grief.

It can also be helpful to spend some time with animals, such as volunteering at an animal shelter or donating supplies in memory of your pet. Acts of kindness, even little ones, can create a sense of purpose during difficult times, helping you make sense of your pet’s passing. 

Helping Children Understand Pet Loss

Children often form deep attachments to pets as they become formative figures in their lives. The loss of a pet can be a child’s first encounter with death, and thus can be difficult to navigate. Here’s how to help them cope: 

  • Use honest, age-appropriate language: Avoid saying that the pet went to sleep or went somewhere else; this can be confusing or frustrating. 
  • Encourage them to express their feelings: Drawing pictures, writing letters to the pet, or talking openly can help.
  • Validate their emotions: Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Support them as they go through the stages of grief. 

Young children in particular may not understand the permanence of death, leading them to ask repeated questions. All you can do in this situation is remain patient and consistent in your answers. Let them take part in small rituals like lighting a candle or choosing a photo to frame. This helps them feel involved and provides a greater sense of closure. There is also a great deal of age-appropriate literature about pet loss. 

If your child is struggling to sleep, eat, or participate in regular activities for an extended time, consider speaking to a child therapist who specialises in grief. Early support can help prevent long-term emotional distress. 

Supporting Other Pets in the Household

Pets can be sensitive to changes in their environment and may grieve in their own way:

  • Behaviour Changes: You might notice your surviving pets becoming quieter, clingier, or less active.
  • Appetite Loss: Grieving animals might eat less or seem withdrawn. 
  • Waiting: It’s not uncommon for pets to go around the house in search of their companion or wait by the door. 

To help them adjust, stick to normal routines for feeding and walks, provide extra love and attention, and keep them mentally stimulated with toys or games. Some animals benefit from gentle behavioural enrichment, such as puzzle feeders, new toys, or even short one-on-one training sessions. 

If possible, try to avoid making big changes to the environment during this time. Give them time to adjust without having to adapt to anything else, as this could overwhelm them. If signs of distress continue for more than a few weeks, speak to your vet for guidance. In some cases, calming aids or anxiety wraps can be used in the short-term. 

Memorial Ideas for Your Pet 

Creating a tribute to your pet can bring comfort and help you remember them in a wholesome way. Here are some meaningful ways to honour their memory:

  • Plant a tree or some flowers in their favourite spot in the garden
  • Create a scrapbook or photo album that shows some happy memories
  • Order a personalised keepsake, like a paw print frame or engraved pendant
  • Write a letter to your pet and keep it in a special place
  • Set up an online tribute page or post on social media to share memories with others
  • Make a donation to or volunteer at an animal charity in your pet’s name

You could also host a small remembrance gathering with family or friends who knew your pet well. Sharing stories, photos, or a favourite treat they loved can bring moments of joy and connection. Some pet owners commission a painted portrait or have their pet’s ashes placed in a special urn or keepsake jewellery. You could also scatter the ashes in a place your pet loved.

These gestures may seem small, but they can be truly cathartic for pet owners as they move through grief. 

When to Consider Getting Another Pet

Timing and Readiness

This is one of the most difficult decisions to make after pet loss. Some people feel ready to open their hearts again within a few months, while others may need years. It’s important not to rush – getting a new pet should come from a place of love, rather than to replace the one you lost. Ask yourself if you’ve had enough time to properly grieve, if you’re emotionally ready to bond with a new pet, and if you have the time, energy, and resources to care for one. 

Exploring the Possibility

If you’ve not been around pets for a while, spend time around other people’s or volunteer at a shelter to get a feel for it again. If you’re unsure about how to deal with the loss of a pet, this can be a good gauge for how you’re doing.

Nonetheless, your next pet will have their own unique personality and traits, so try to prepare for one that’s their own individual, and know that it’s okay that they’re not like the one you lost. It might be a different breed with an array of surprises. Opening your heart doesn’t diminish the love you had before. 

For some, a new pet becomes part of the healing journey. For others, the relationship they shared with their last pet was so special that they choose not to adopt again. Both are completely natural, and you should go with your heart.

Pet Bereavement Support Services

Where to Get Help 

If the grief feels too heavy to manage on your own, there is help available. Pet bereavement support services offer understanding and compassionate care for those struggling with loss. Some UK resources include: 

Finding a Community

Local pet grief counselling or therapists can also be helpful assets within the community. Many people find it helpful to speak with others outside their immediate circle who can offer empathy without judgment. Helplines, online forums, or one-to-one counselling are often included. 

You don’t need to face your grief in silence – support is out there, and it’s okay to ask for it. You may also find comfort in online communities where others talk through their own experiences. Just knowing you’re not the only one feeling this way can be incredibly healing. 

How to Deal with the Loss of a Pet: Final Thoughts

Learning how to deal with the loss of a pet takes time, patience, and self-compassion. You gave your pet love, care, and a good life, but the bond you struck with them doesn’t end because they have passed on. 

Allow yourself space to grieve. Look fondly on the memories you made together, and when you’re ready, you can start taking small steps toward healing. Your pet’s paw prints will always remain on your heart. 

Most importantly of all, be gentle with yourself. Grief isn’t a one-size-fits-all straight line, and healing can’t be rushed. Honour your pet’s life by mourning however you need to, showing them the depth of the love you shared. 

At A&T Trained Dogs, we’re here to help you experience the joy of well-trained dogs, whether you’re seeking a guide, a protector, or a friendly companion. Explore our dogs for sale, training services, or doggy daycare to see how we can support you. Have questions? Contact us online or call 01524 587315.